OK, it's definitely not scientific method to generalise 2 types with only personal experience. What I am doing here is trying to explain my own story with theory about cognitive functions. All are my personal observations (Ni talks the most of time, Te add some minor points); I still believe no matter what types they are, 2 healthy people will make great relationship, either friendship or love.
First of all, why was the attraction at first? "N type" is always a comfort zone with both INTJ and INFP. The unhealthy INTJ with suppressed "Fi" was intrigued by INFP's very active "Fi". And she slowly let her "Fi" come out again. But that was exactly the point where their relationship failed, when the unhealthy INTJ fell into "Ni-Fi loop".
The INTJ trapped in a "Ni-Fi loop" became over-sensitive to "underlying meaning" of all what the INFP said. And get no extravert function interfered, she got blunt, overcritical - what the INFP hated the most. The INFP, on the other hand, has his own "Fi" overdeveloped; he only acted towards what he felt, without caring what other people felt.
The INTJ tried to fight against the "Ni-Fi loop" by using her own "Te", and she used it especially strongly towards the INFP because unconciously, her "Ni" told her he was the cause of her loop. But "Te" of the INFP was so underdeveloped that he was against all analytical solution.
The INTJ blamed the INFP to be an asshole, the INFP might have thought about the INTJ as a psycho.
And then, getting to know each other became both people's hardest experience. They ought to be souldmates, who challenge each other and change each other in a better way. But they are either unhealthy or immature, so they no longer see each other, even as friends.
For term of cognitive functions, please refer to
http://www.cognitiveprocesses.com/16Types/16Types.cfm
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This is the best explanation of a relationship between INFP And INTJ that I read. The relationship in general never begun. Infp girl in general love Very fast And never see explicity problemns in any man. Are iluded by the Men. But with INTJ man is the opposite. The intj men are iluded by infp. Because the infp girl in general see ALL the fears of past relationships in INTJ man and is very cautelous And juldgemental of him. With ALL in Common like a soulmate she is yet suspect of him. And a simple problem is ALL that she needs to doesnt begun The relationship. The values of life of them, personality And way of communication of both are Very different. The infp see INTJ with suspicious, much seriousness (in a bad way), not spontaneous, artificial, robot, blunt, arrogance, smart (in a bad way), cold, rational (in a bad way).
ReplyDeleteThe INTJ see infp with suspicious, with arrogance because of spontaneous counsells to him, like the owner of the truth in the social and emotional arena , like a childish and imature person, like a hippie that laugh of anything and dont compromise in anything, like a Bullyer of his personality and him in general because of excess of sincerity and spontaneous that infp has, that she demand a Lot of him, is very judgmental of him, deluded him, see only defects in him, is an emotional abuser And is trying to find problem in him to justify the relationship not Begin.
I never see any healthy type. This is general. In Tinder, okcupid, Happn And ALL apps all The milennials are unhealthy. Because of this relationships of infp And INTJ are so hard. Maybe that explanations cliché of INTJ And infp like best Matches are because they analyse The rares couples that are high evolves. Or older people of x generation, baby Boomers And others. For me, infp And INTJ are The worst match of Myers-Briggs . The infp feels suffocated, suspicious, nostalgic of bad ex partners problems And controled. And INTJ , victim of bullying, victim of an emotional abuser And emotional turmoil And has problems of his self-steem.